Archive for the ‘Entertainment’ Category

Shake It, Baby, Shake It


Well now, I’ve been trying to figure out what to blog about for days now. Well, I know what I want to blog about, but it’s wayyyyy too silly and you’ll all roll your eyes and shake your heads and– Well, heck, I’m used to that so I’ll tell it anyway, lol.

So, as you may have heard, Terri, Jackie and I went to St. Lucia for a week. It was warm and sunny there, lovely people, palm trees, sand and sea . . . I shall post a pic or two for you to see how lovely. Anyway, we had a nice time. We flew in Sunday, explored the town of Castries Monday, going to the Market and so on. Then we had a “chill on the beach” day Tuesday. I actually got to READ A BOOK!!! OMG!! It was such a pleasure.

Anyway, the next day, Wednesday, was a spa day. The three of us went in for pedicures, manicures, facials, massage, the whole works. I swear, by the time the girl was done with me every muscle in my body was a soggy noodle. Since I’m usually as wound up as a clock and simply find it impossible to relax, this was no small thing. Thursday was mega day. We ended up booked on two excursions, sort of by accidents. We had a bit of trepidation about this beforehand. One was an all day cruise/drive. It started with a cruise around the island on a catamaran to a small village where we all got off and piled into several very nice passenger vans which then drove us to a town called Souffre (Gad I hope I spelled that right) There the air was heavy with the unpleasant scent of sulphur and the locals rushed out with their wares, necklaces made of lave rock and so on. From there we continued up into the hills to a collapsed volcano that we could walk right into. Not telling more about that cause you know it’s gonna be in a future book.

Then we went to a cocoa plantation and saw how cocoa is dried and so on to make 100 % pure chocolate for Hershey’s. You know I bought a stick. Yes a stick. It’s a little bigger around than a broom stick, but only about six inches long. It’s solid and heavy and smells SOOOO yummy. I was also given some spices with it and a recipe to make hot chocolate that calls for grating some off the stick, adding the herbs and spices, boiling and so on. I haven’t tried it yet, but will. After that we had a meal at the plantation, followed by a chocolate desert that was lovely. Then we all piled into the passenger vans and were returned down the mountain to the catamaran. We sailed back, pausing for a swim in a cove along the way, sailing back into the cove by our resort at 4:30. This left us exactly half an hour to get off, walk back to the resort, go to the bathroom and then rush back for the 5:00 sunset cruise. I should mention here . . . Yes, it was a long excursion, an all day deal.

But that wasn’t the big worry. You see, rum punch is a big drink on St. Lucia, especially at the resort. It was everywhere and usually free, and it was the drink of choice and on offer on the catamaran. There were other offerings like Bounty rum and bananas (don’t ask. I never quite worked out the banana thing). Anyway, the point is, it’s hot on the boat. You are mostly exposed and under the bright sun, and Jackie had warned us that she’d seen the cruise before and that it always rode out with a quiet, conservative type group and then came back into harbor at night with a singing, laughing, cheering and carousing crowd. Which would be fine, except that the same thing tended to happen with the sunset cruise too, and she was concerned about our being on one and the other and . . . well, you get the idea. I told her not to worry, yes it would be a long day out in the sun and sea air, and yes the rum punch would flow, but we would pace ourselves. It would be fine. We could do it.

I am very proud to say that we did. WE WERE AWESOME. While everyone else started on the rum punches as soon as we boarded at EIGHT in the MORNING, we stuck to bottled water. I then switched to diet coke, not going near the rum punch until the cruise ride back in mid-afternoon. I’m pretty sure Jackie and Terri were too, though I didn’t police their drinks. We were a little wind swept, a little salty from our swim and happily tired when the first cruise came to an end, but otherwise fine. We were a little late getting in and only had about 15 or 20 minutes before the next cruise so hopped off and went to use the washrooms at the resort while the catamaran was taken out, cleaned and restocked for the sunset cruise.

Unfortunately, because we were running from one cruise to the other without time between to change, we were a little underdressed compared to the others. We were in swimsuits and cover ups, with sunhats rosy red cheeks and probably redder noses from the sun while the rest were in evening, island casual; pretty much a dress shorts and polo shirts kind of thing. We just shrugged. What can you do, right? The sunset cruise was a gift and we couldn’t just give it a miss was our thought and afterward I was terribly glad our mother taught us good manners and to be polite. I would have been sorry had we missed that cruise. There were a ton of yummy hors d’oeuvres and, of course, the customary rum punch. We – A little low on energy after our all day excursion – indulged in both and started to chat and interact with our cohorts on this latest cruise. We were the only ones on it from the first cruise (No one else would have dared two in a day I think, lol.) We were having fun, enjoying the tour of the bays and the setting sun and yipping with everyone when they headed back out to sea and then called all the women up to the center of the catamaran to line up in rows with one of the crew members, a young woman, before us.

While the boat gently pitched on the swells, we were expected to keep our feet while at the same time emulating a dance she showed us. It was a shake your booty contest and it was all about the hips, moving those while keeping your upper body still, sort of like you do in belly dancing but with a lot more. . . umm . . . shaking of your groove thing. Well, while Terri’s voice rang in my ears with “We’re Canadian, we don’t do that” (ROFLMAO) I copied our instructor’s stance, spread my legs, bent my knees a bit and proceeded to do my best to emulate what she was teaching, lol. As a dear friend of mine put it, I SHOOK WHAT MY MAMA GAVE ME! And DAMNNNNNNNN, when the music stopped, one of the male crew members went along, pausing behind each of us for a clap vote and do you know WHAT? DAMNNNNNN!!! I made it to the finals. It meant I had to do it again and stuff, but DAMNNNNNNNNN! I was one of the last three contestants and a runner up before losing out to a cute little 18 year old. The men had to line up and do it next and then we arrived back at the resort, the second cruise now over. The minute we landed we headed back to the villa to change before our dinner reservations.

The first thing I did when I got in was to call Mr. Spice to tell him that he had a booty shaking, hottie of a wife who could get her groove thing on well enough to be a runner up in a contest. He—being a man—had no concept of what this meant. He did not understand the earth shaking import behind this news. His response was a droll “I’m more impressed that my wife made 3 on the NY Times.” Clearly, the man has his priorities ALL MESSED UP. Sigh. Anyway, the rest of the trip was lovely, but I was glad to come home to Mr. Spice. He may not understand the importance of a booty shaking wife, but he’s still a sweetie.

Hope you’re all well.

Lynsay, the booty shaking NY Timer.



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